Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Not Feeling It

I am so not feeling pg. With my last two transfers I was right about: 1st time, not being pg and 2nd time, being pg. I hope I'm wrong this time, but I'm just not feeling it.

I went outside this evening to try to get the cat in and I could hear a neighbor child talking. I just started crying. It was such a sweet, sweet sound to my ears. It made me ache.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Going Home

Hallelujah! I'm going home to sleep in my own bed and snuggle up with my sweet kitties.

I'm not feeling much. In fact, for most of yesterday I was convinced that nothin's cookin'. Then during the night I had some pains that have me wondering. It feels like the pains I'm having are in my left ovary, but I wonder if it just seems that way. My boobs are a little sensitive, but that could just be the progesterone. I don't want to get my hopes up on that point. Aaah, the fun, fun two week wait.

Anyway, I'm so ready to go home. It hit me on Sunday and I've just been so homesick since then. I really miss my cats and can't wait to get there to hug on them. I was teasing DH last night that I'm glad I have 2 days alone with the cats before he comes home on Thurs. My little kitty won't sleep in our bed when he's in it.

I've decided that I will POAS on Sun morning before he heads out of town again. Telling your DH your pg on the telephone is not the most fun. Let's hope it's positive just for the sake of my sanity. A negative HPT could send me into a downward spiral. Hmm, maybe I shouldn't think too much about it. I'll change my mind.

Bring on the warmer weather of the beautiful South.....whoohoo!

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Count is Final , the Deed is Done

Six! There was one embie that looked as if it was going to arrest. After a discussion with my dr wherein he assured me that the chances of HOM are less than 10% we settled on transferring all of the good looking embies. They were all grades one and two; described by the dr as "beautiful," "perfect," and, my personal favorite, "textbook."

I did have a little breakdown b/c DH wasn't there with me. It was early on during the waiting pd. I did much better during the actual event. I have to confess though, I did ask the nurse to hold my hand during the procedure.

I went for acupuncture after and DH met me in the city and we went for a really wonderful dinner. After that, I did a little walking in the cold and wind. Whacha gonna do?

Stay's just now getting good.

I should warn you. I'm not a POAS girl. I used to be, but got to the point that I just absolutely cannot face another negative HPT so I stay away from them. I think I'd lose my mind if I saw another negative. If I break on that point, you'll be the first to know.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

7 mature, 7 fertilized

Way to go little eggs and little sperm. Mommy's so proud of you already! Grow, grow, grow!

I did talk to the nurse today about my fear of multiples. She said that the dr will talk with me about it prior to the procedure on Thursday and only do what I'm comfortable with. Whew! Everything happens so fast at Cornell and it's such and assembly line that I was worried that there would be no room for negotiation the day of. What really sucks is that DH will not be able to be there with me and I'm going to have to make the final call on my own. That's okay, I'm a big girl. I can do it.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Oocyte News

Quick update. We got 7 eggs. It's such a change from before that I think my mouth fell open when the dr told me. We're really pleased with that number, but I was really expecting to hear something like 12 based on my history. I'd like to not have to freeze any. I suppose we may have to freeze a few. In my age group the recommended number for transfer is 5 or6. I about ran screaming out of the pre-op meeting when I read that. We transferred 4 last time and had one attach. You'd think it wouldn't scare me so much, but I just feel so healthy right now. With the lower doses and all of the exercise I've gotten over the last 2 weeks around NYC, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. Also, the treatment is just so much better. I just expect success -- ergo, I'm scared shitless of more than 2 attaching.

I don't want to be naive. I know the implantation rate for a 43 yo is really low, but damn, 5 or 6! What if some split and I'm the next Octomom!!!! I'm going to have to look closely at some statistics on this. If I don't find a comfort level or make a plan to transfer fewer, I'm going to be the first woman in the history of IVF that refuses to open her legs for ET! I can see it now...the staff will have to grab onto my thighs and try to pull them apart and I'll be squeezing like a good girl that found herself in the backseat of a car on a Saturday night!

I get my fertilization results tomorrow b/t 10am and 1pm. Check back in. Thanks for the well wishes.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Greetings from NYC

I triggered last night!!!! Whoohooooo! I'm feeling great. I cannot believe how easy this cycle has been on me. I have had enough energy to enjoy the city and I haven't been uncomfortable. With my other 2 stim cycles, I was exhausted and my ovaries were so big that I had difficulty walking. I'm not kidding. Both times, they grew to the size of grapefruit. Holy crap it was uncomfortable. And now I know, unnecessary This treatment has been so much more gentle. No wonder Cornell has such great success rates. I told DH a few nights ago, "this is not IVF as we know it!" No mood swings, no depression, no mandatory afternoon naps...what's going on here? When I made that comment, I was in the process of mixing my drugs and DANCING to music on the tv. WTF - I would have no more thought of dancing with my prior stim cycles than retrieving my own eggs!

So, back to the story of now... I've got lots of nice follies and my uterus is 6.8 mm. It's just all good all around. I go in tomorrow early am for ER. Wish me luck!

We're staying in the city tonight and tomorrow, but we've been staying in NJ b/c DH is working there. I've been commuting in daily for monitoring. I've been getting up at 5 am every morning to commute in to be here by the 8:30 cut off for b/w & u/s. It really hasn't been bad. I come in and then I have the whole day to explore Manhattan. I haven't spent too, too much on clothes shopping. :-) I get pretty cheap when it comes to spending money on clothes and shoes so that slows me down. If it's not marked down several times, I have to be totally in love with it to buy it.

Hmmm, it just occurred to me that I started this blog to bitch and right now I don't have a damn thing to bitch about. I'm happy, healthy, and head-over-heals in love with my DH. Here's hoping I'll soon be pg and I can maintain this happiness.

See you on the other side of egg retrieval.

Friday, February 6, 2009

I'm still here

So I'm in NYC. I went for my first monitoring appt this am and took my first shots tonight. I was a big girl and did it without hesitating or pitching a fit or anything. I squeaked into the cycle with an FSH of 11.

I've been in the city since Tuesday and I'm enjoying it so much that I haven't wanted to sit down and type. Even now, I'm just rushing through so that I can get a good night's sleep. I've got a big day tomorrow. I've signed up for a photography workshop that I'm really looking forward to.

So for now thanks for reading and for wishing me well. I have some fun stuff to tell, but I've just got to wind down and get some rest.